One of the core skills of a coach is feeding back things that they are noticing (hearing, seeing and feeling). This might include:
Coaches feedback things they notice from the mindset that it will:
Thus their intentions for offering feedback are purely positive and supportive. It’s also good practice to ask your permission before offering feedback to you …
“I’ve just noticed something in our conversation that I’d like to feed back to you if that’s OK?”
"Do you mind if I feed something back to you that I’m hearing?”
In order to maximise your time together, and create a valuable and productive coach-coachee relationship, it’s useful to embrace feed back when it’s offered. As with ‘Challenge‘ in coaching, feedback from your coach:
There are many benefits to being offered this kind of feedback. Nevertheless, the temptation as a coachee can be to initially feel like ‘feedback’ is some kind of criticism when it’s being offered … until, that is, you’ve had good quality coaching and you know this part of the coach-coachee relationship is key to your development.
How to respond when you’re offered feedback from your coach
When offered feedback, take it. It’s sign-posting something to you. You don’t have to accept it. You don’t have to act on it. As with other information that is put out there in the coaching arena (via your dialogue), you choose whether it’s relevant in that moment, and you decide whether to act on it, think about it further, or offer your thoughts / comments.
To summarise, my advice here is to welcome feedback offered by your coach; in fact embrace it! See it as supportive with a positive intent from your coach. See it as further / new information that you can add to the mix – helping you make more informed decisions moving forward.
What kind of feedback have you been usefully offered by your coach to date?
What made it useful feedback?
Let me know in the comments box.
These are the leaders and coaches that leave no stone unturned, they will make sure all the i's are dotted and t's are crossed. They have fantastic attention to detail and the more detail they have, the more they thrive. If you give them an action plan they will make sure you have every eventuality covered. These qualities are great if you are expecting a visit from an auditor, however imagine being in a meeting where you want to move forward with an action plan and the compliant C keeps highlighting the risk, being cautious and sitting on the fence afraid to make a decision in case it is wrong.
General Characteristics of a compliant C
Their greatest fear is criticism due to their perfectionism and will avoid conflict like the plague. Your intention may not be to criticise or pick fault, however being a reserved individual who processes every detail they will take any form of feedback as potential criticism due to the high standards that they set themselves.
They say that opposites attract and can work exceptionally well together. I know that a lot of my clients are compliant C and we have a fabulous relationship because their strengths are my development needs and vice versa so we end up being each others missing ingredient. I can think of numerous jobs as a leader and a coach that I would gratefully delegate to a compliant C and they would thrive and flourish seeing through to completion. On the flip side I know that I would only be able to tolerate their need for more detail for so long before I would get frustrated.
Part of building effective relationships and having powerful conversations is recognising your own personality traits, accepting them (warts and all), deciding how you best like to receive information and be able to articulate that as well as respectfully realising that you may need to adapt your communication style to get the best out of others and the relationship.
Questions to ask yourself when working with a compliant C
My top tip for engaging with a compliant C is GIVE ME DETAIL, the more the better and consider your INTENT & IMPACT.
For further information about DISC and the personality traits I can recommend you read "Do it or Ditch it" by Bev James and "Empowering Employee Engagement - How to ignite your team" by Claire Cahill. Both available on Amazon
Steady 'S' leaders and coaches are the organisers in the team. They will have a plan and see it through to the end, some people will refer to them as the starter/completer.
Here are the typical characteristics of a Steady S
Imagine you are having a social gathering or team meeting, the Steady S will be the one that arrives with the cake to share with everyone. They will be the one that organises the gifts whether that be for birthdays, anniversaries or leavers. It wouldn't be unusual to hear them say "Sharing is caring". In relationships they will seek harmony and potentially avoid the conflict situation unless they feel capable to use their skills to support a satisfactory resolution for all concerned.
Their greatest fear is loss of security and change. That isn't to say that they cannot adapt to change, just that you will need to give them sufficient time to process the change and be prepared to discuss the change without judgement.
Imagine you are in a group and someone gets upset, the Steady S will be the first to comfort them by putting an arm around them, demonstrating empathy and sympathy, wanting to listen to the problem and seek a solution. They are nurturing with their kind nature and can be viewed as the mother or father in the group. Mother Theresa pops into my head when I think of a Steady S character.
Questions you may want to ask yourself when dealing with a Steady S leader or coach
My top tip for engaging with a Steady S is MAKE ME FEEL SECURE & SHOW ME YOU CARE
If you want to learn more about DISC then I would recommend reading "Do it or Ditch it" By Bev James or "Empowering Employee Engagement - How to ignite your team for peak performance" By Claire Cahill. Both available on Amazon.
Influencing 'I' leaders and coaches engage you with their story telling. They will create an impression as soon as they walk into the room. They will inspire you with the actions they take and always have others at the heart of all they do.
How to spot an Influential 'I' in the room
Their greatest fear is loss of popularity so not unusual for them to talk their way out of any situation for fear of rejection.
When faced with problems, 'I' style leaders and coaches become active, verbal and persuasive. They respond actively to challenges and may try to reach an agreement. Great when you are seeking a win/win solution for the team.
The energy and enthusiasm that is created by an 'I' leader and coach is infectious and it's not unusual for them to have their fingers in every pie and will be juggling the balls. Some people may refer to them as magpies, always going after the shiny objects, however they will always hit a deadline and perform at their best when everything is last minute. (Not a surprise as a high 'I' and wanting to get this blog on my website before the day ends, I'm rapidly typing at the speed of light!)
Questions you may ask yourself when working with an 'I' as a leader or coach
My top tip to engage with an influencing 'I' is to INVOLVE THEM and MAKE THEM FEEL VALUED
For more information on the influencing 'I' you can read "Do it or Ditch it" by Bev James or "Empowering Employee Engagement - How to ignite your team for peak performance" by Claire Cahill. Both available on Amazon
Inspirational, Fabulous and over 40 is also another great read of 12 women who decided to be brave and courageous to live their dreams by being influential. Also available on Amazon
How clear are you about your role in the coach-coachee relationship?
What are you responsible for?
Whilst coaching is a fluid relationship without a hierarchy, there still needs to be clarity about the different roles and responsibilities of both parties.
Being clear about your roles and responsibilities makes for smoother, more productive and successful sessions. It means you can get any associated ‘admin’ out of the way at the start, and you can go into each session with the right mindset.
At the start of the new coach-coachee relationship, it’s likely that there’s an imbalance and the coach is clear about the respective roles and responsibilities whilst the coachee isn’t.
Clarification can come from:
Typically roles and responsibilities of coach and coachee include:
Coach Roles & Responsibilities
Coachee Roles & Responsibilities
What would you add to the items on these lists, based on your own experiences of being coached?
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